Closer.

It is Sunday night, and those in this house have gone to their rooms early, heavy and bent under the news we received only on Friday. It was not what we hoped to hear, and time will tell its story. I've retired somewhat early myself, only to find that I am not tired, and I have nothing put together to wear tomorrow. I pulled out a black suit, eyed the black patent leather heels, and, reminded that it is now November, figured then that a pair of black stockings would be appropriate as well. And while I was at it, why not accessorize with a black scarf? It might match my dark mood right now.

It was then that I realized that pulling out The Black Suit means I have officially hit fashion rock bottom. Not that it looks bad, mind you- it fits me well and is certainly appropriate for my office. It's just that once I've decided that it will suffice, I know that I need to get to the root of the problem; namely, fix this that which is so absent of color inside me right now. So I am writing and reading and pretty much stretched out in my hammock, trying desperately to sort through the thousand pieces that I find still manage to beat even while I sleep.

I wonder sometimes at God's timing. And I wonder at the complexity of two wills, two ideas, two different paths. Does God bless one, and not another? What if blessings are actually pain, and what would happen if we could look back at all the heartache and from there choose what we are to do? Would I do the right thing? If I knew that going out on a limb, one more time, would instead hand me the fruit that stings and is not sweet, would I climb the tree anyways? The truth is I've always been somewhat content to let others climb the trees; I preferred to watch and then have lemonade waiting for everyone once they came down, content to feel the grass under my feet. I guess I hoped there would be someone else who liked the grass and the yard and the bugs and was content to be there with me, too.

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Co-posted to www.theblondephilosophy.blogspot.com

They're Ok- But I Can't Wait To Get My Contacts Back.

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Fridays With Jeff

My eyes have been bothering me for a couple of weeks, so I went to the eye doctor to see what was up. I was having very strange, blurry vision and generally they were very irritated. Apparently, my eyes are "swollen." He says this condition is brought on by a variety of things, including forgetting to change contact lenses, eye strain, stress, and "excessive watering." (Sigh). The only thing that can be done about this is to give them a break; namely, avoid everything above, and go sans contact lenses for at least a week, and put in eye drops every hour to moisturize. I found my old pair of glasses and wore them for the remainder of the day. The only problem is, they were the cheapest pair I could buy when I got them last year; I only wear them from my room to the kitchen in the middle of the night to get water. Any other time I wear my contacts. They're not entirely uncomfortable, but not necessarily what I would pick if I had to wear them all the time. This will not do if I have to wear them for the next week, or longer.

So anyways Jeff and I went over to Westshore Mall to see if there were any frames that might be more comfortable. All I can say is, thank you, Sarah Palin. Because of you, there are beautiful, chic eyeglasses, and they are now considered an accessory. The girl helping me says she, herself, owns 6 pairs of her prescription in different colors and shapes to match her outfits. Long story short, I found some.

Jeff and I thought we'd commemorate the moment by capturing some "before" pictures, and now that glasses are cool I get to show off the new ones tomorrow. :)

Take Two Pairs And Call Me In The Morning...

I conducted a very scientific study on the effects of crocodile patent-leather shoes and women. My findings conclude that the mood-boosting power of these shoes is equivalent to that of a two- week vacation.

I've been waiting for these particular shoes to go on sale. Why? Because they are fantastic.

It's The Little Things...

So I bring a mint mocha latte home, and a gingerbread latte for Jeff. And what did we find peering up at us under that sweet domed lid? A little gingerbread man!!!
AWWWWWW!

Fair Warning.

Tonight J. and I went to see Dr. Lennox at Eckerd College, where he was presenting a lecture on his unique experiences as a debater, professor, and, most importantly (eternally, anyways) a Christian at Oxford University.

Most of his quantum physics points were somewhat over my head, but the question and answer session at the end was very engaging. We went for coffee before our trip over to St. Pete, so that helped... I did not order my latte's espresso shots in decaf, and J. didn't stop me. (Thanks- I needed it!)

Of course we had our own debate, held later at Starbucks, but as long as friends are respectful of each other, I see no harm in bantering about some of these current issues. :)

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So I have a few things turning over in my mind from events as of late, and two events in particular that happened over this weekend that are troubling. I won't elaborate further, but I am thinking that perhaps readers should not expect things from me for awhile.

I cannot, I confess, continue writing with the conviction that I held before, because I just cannot seem to find it as easily as I used to. I want to make sure that I am convinced of things I am passionate about, believe in, write about, and champion for. I am frankly so full of questions that cannot be answered that I am afraid that I would not be an encouragement, nor could I in good conscience portray something that doesn't align with my heart right now.

And with that, as Jim Carrey says: "Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, and good night, and go vote on Tuesday." (I added the last part.)

Oh, and take the "I voted" sticker off your shirt before you toss it into the washer...

The Challenge

I had a wonderful opportunity to attend a dinner hosted by the C.S. Lewis Society.*  If you have not heard about this wonderful ministry, I encourage you to check out www.apologetics.org, which further explains the Society's mission:
"The mission of the C.S. Lewis Society is to empower believers and engage skeptics with Biblical truth and evidences for faith."

Originating from Princeton in 1975, the C.S. Lewis Society is currently based out of Florida's Trinity College. The Society hosts various events and outreach ministries, and maintains a blog and an extensive array of articles. 

Cameron was able to join me at the last minute. I figured she would enjoy the event and the nod to literary and scholarly discussion. The dinner was held in Clearwater, and we were able to enjoy the most beautiful, melting sunset as we crossed the bridge. I would have liked to have gone a little bit early, and perhaps stopped along the water to watch the sky for awhile, but we didn't have time... I had a clothing challenge because my biopsy sites are still unsightly. It all worked out, though, because the dining room was freezing, so my long sleeved top was a good idea after all.

Anyways, I titled this "The Challenge" because I had the opportunity to hear Dr. John Lennox share his thoughts on current academia's challenges and triumphs in the Creation vs. Darwinism teaching philosophy. Dr. Lennox is probably best known for his recent debate with the author of The God Delusion, a best-selling book by Richard Dawkins. Dr. Lennox is Irish, and has that thick,rolling accent that not only draws you into his words, but actually commands attention. He shared with us his testimony, his affiliation with the C.S. Lewis Society, and war stories from his debates with some of current society's experts on mathematics, science, and philosophy.

We were captivated. Although the catering staff was laughing through the swinging doors, and you could hear dishes and silverware clinking, the round tables in the banquet hall were silent. Dr. Lennox ended with the following statement:

"I told my wife of forty years that when I get to heaven, I will put my arm around her, look around us, and say, 'If I knew it [heaven] was going be like this, I would have spent more time investing in it.' "

Then he took a long look at all of us, paused for a moment in the silence, and exited his podium to growing, thunderous applause. In case I have not communicated through my writing, this was the challenge for all of us. 

His statement kind of puts things into perspective, doesn't it?

:)

Dr. Lennox was kind enough to chat with me for a few minutes after the event. What a fun night!

__________________________________

Cameron and I decided to ponder this stuff over some coffee. On our way to dinner, we passed this huge, brightly lit building that appeared to be a coffee haven. Naturally, we decided to drive by on our way back to check it out.

"Bay Coast Coffee Market" is a jaw dropping, espresso-dessert-soup-sandwich bar, and a market for coffee stuff! There were beautiful, gleaming espresso machines, thick, colorful mugs, and bins to scoop your own coffee beans. There was free wifi, small squatty chairs, corner booths, and high-top stools around marble tables. It is 11,000 square feet.

Sounds such as "oooh, ahhhh," "shiny," and "I love this" were heard throughout. Someone, who shall remain anonymous, did indeed clap her hands and squeal when she saw the glass panel above the bar that held probably 20 feet of draped newspapers. ("Cam! News! Look! News!)

Our mocha (decaf) lattes were amazing. What a cool place! Too bad it's all the way in Clearwater! :)

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John Lennox MA MA (Bioethics), Ph.D D.Phil D. Sc, is Professor of Mathematics at the University of Oxford and Fellow in Mathematics and Philosophy of Science, and Pastoral Advisor at Green College. He is also Lecturer at Wycliffe-Hall, University of Oxford and a Senior Fellow with the Trinity Forum. He has debated Professor Richard Dawkins in the “God Delusion Debate” organized by the Fixed-Point Foundation in Birmingham Alabama in 2007. He also debated Christopher Hitchens at the Edinburgh Festival and Dr Michael Shermer of Sceptic Magazine in Sydney, both in 2008. His most recent book is God’s Undertaker—Has Science buried God? (Lion-Hudson, Kregel 2007).

(Biography credit: The Trinity Forum; http://www.ttf.org/index/about/lennox/)

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*
In error, I originally posted that the dinner was sponsored by the C.S. Lewis Foundation. As you can see from the comment posted by the Director of Communications, the C.S. Lewis Society and the C.S. Lewis Foundation are different.

 Nevertheless, I have included the mission statement for the Foundation because I think it is so very eloquent and a worthy challenge for all of us in the academic environment:
"From its very inception until now, the C.S. Lewis Foundation has been devoted to one primary mission: namely that of enabling a genuine renaissance of Christian scholarship and artistic expression within the mainstream of the contemporary university." (Dr. J. Stanley Mattson, President)
www.cslewis.org