ChivalryMan!

With all of the hype about IronMan, I thought I'd create my own as-needed superhero. Enter ChivalryMan.

ChivalryMan comes to the rescue of ladies everywhere in their times of need. He's sort of like your knight in shining armor, without the commitment, leaving you free to find the man of your dreams.

He arrives on a cloud of (non-AXE) cologne and is freshly shaven, his shoes shined, and his cape tucked into his freshly pressed boxer-briefs. He has a limited vocabulary, including "You've lost weight," "Rest while I cut you another brownie," and "You look amazing but your skirt is wrinkled... here, let me iron it for you."

He carries with himself a sleep-mask to protect your modesty when helping with wardrobe issues and scolds men who whistle at ladies.

Ever been at the beach and, finding yourself with the choice of a port-a-potty or your vehicle, needing to fix or change your bathing attire? Not a problem. ChivalryMan comes to your rescue by holding up a sheet, whilst covering his own eyes and allowing you to change in the privacy of your little billowing cabana.

If, like me, you've ever been yelled at by a man for crossing the street on the walk signal, ChivalryMan would chase down the little heathen and smartly rebuff him, gently removing a white cotton glove and slapping such a boarish man for yelling at a nice lady in a black dress and black patent high heels.ChivalryMan would appear and disappear with impeccable timing. He carries very little, because he is need-based.

His right arm is a little larger than his left arm because he always arrives just in time to open doors for ladies, or to hold a chair out for them, or to carry a shopping bag of shoes into the apartment while holding the front door open. Chivalry isn't dead, you see... it just needs a little refresher course.

Cheers!