Two Ears Don't Mean You Heard It Right.

Ok, I admit it. I was half listening, typing, watching a decorating show, and the crunchy Wheat Thins were making it a bit hard to hear things.

So I hear, "There were soooo many people in the waiting room today at the Doctor's office."

Me, half- listening, but still feeling intelligent enough to share a grown-up observation: "Well, probably people are trying to use their Flex Dollars before the year ends. Use it or lose it."

Mom, half-listening to me, too: "Probably, yeah, that's probably why."

(Somewhere in the distance, a dog barks. A newspaper page is shuffled. All is quiet.)

Suddenly, he speaks.

Dad: "Yeah, Chelsea. Probably everyone timed it so that they broke their arms and legs just in time before their Flex Dollars expire."

Oh, we laughed.

Jeff

I have to say, my little brother Jeff is one of the funniest people I know. We went out tonight for ice cream, a trip to Lowes, and a trip to Target to return something. How funny are these quips?

Scene:
I'm reading Domino magazine when Jeff walks in.

"Hey Chels, I'm going to run to Lowes because I need some wood screws." (Jeff)
"Um, ok, well I need to go to Target, sooo..." (me)
"Hey, that's like one trip!" (Aghast!)
"Yep. Lemme change and we'll go together."
"Wait, are you going to, um, 'look' at Target? Because if you're going to shop, I don't want this to take, like, all night. I have things to do, you know."
"No, no.... (assuredly) I don't need anything....
...I just want to return that closet thing that I bought that broke.... I'll just run in and return it and we'll go get your stuff from Lowes...." (I leave the room, continuing to assure Jeff that the items is ready to go, I have the receipt, and I'll just 'run in...', I don't need anything at all, etc, etc...)
"Ok."
8 seconds later...
"Ok, Chels... so, how long are you going to 'look' ?"
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The simple fact that we were going to Lowes to buy screws brought some challenges, and prevented Jeff from asking assistance from, well, pretty much any Lowes employee. I mean, how DO you word a question like that and not embarrass anyone...?
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Scene:
Jeff and Chelsea are leaving the Cold Stone Creamery shop, disappointed that shop wouldn't take our Buy One Get One coupon, and not feeling prepared to drop $10.00 on two cones. A really cute, preppy, ponytailed blonde is going in while we are leaving. She holds the door for us, but Jeff had already started to hold the door for me. So the three of us are kind of suspended there, her gazing up at Jeff, seeing her children in his eyes, me rolling my eyes, and everyone present holding the door for each other, until we all have that moment when we laugh nervously and start apologizing and moving away from the situation. ("Sorry, haha, sorry, haha....."

Jeff, quietly and to himself: "That is so awkward."
Me, overhearing him: "Yeah! It's kind of like that awkwardness when you hug and say goodbye to someone, and then they continue walking the same way as you are. Like, your car and their car are parked right next to each other, or there's only one exit, and you realize it and it's awkward."
Jeff, "Yeah, kind of like that."
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We have a good laugh over this and walk over to Publix, where we bought Buy One Get One Edy's Ice Cream half-gallons. This event made us happy because we each got our own flavor, since one was free, which was pretty much what we were going to do at Cold Stone. Except Publix was out of Toll House cookie dough ice cream! Tragedy!
So we brought the vanilla and chocolate-brownie tubs home and mushed our own cookie dough in. (Only Jeff would keep a tub of mixed cookie dough in the fridge.)

Yum! My dough-to-ice-cream ratio was off, but Jeff's looked, well, perfect.
Jeff: "Chels, you should mush more often."
Me: "Um, no, Jeff, I don't think I need to mush more. Thanks, though."
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Earlier, I'm getting home from work. I stopped at Chik-Fil-A because I was starving. I worked through lunch, again, and only had toast today. (I've lost so much weight this week, anyways, my jeans don't fit, so I figured a chicken sandwich wouldn't kill me)

Me, eating my sandwich: "Jeff, I'm sorry.... I've been so used to living alone, I only brought one sandwich, and I didn't know you were going to be home, and so I didn't call to see if you wanted anything, I feel so inconsiderate, blah, blah...."
Jeff: "That's alright. I just came from Burger King, and didn't even think about asking if you wanted anything."
Me: "Sorry, man."
Jeff: "Yah, sorry too."

Nothing gained, nothing lost :)

Strange Days

Friday looks to be interesting. My morning started off with a trip to Starbucks, where I tell you the blueberry coffee cake was making a face at me. Honest! Blueberry placement can be harshly disturbing on a Friday morning, pre-caffeine. A lady in line (it was out the door) with me was lamenting that this was the only Starbucks close to DownTown Tampa, and when I asked where she was from, she informed me that she was from New York. So I'm standing there and thinking that she probably wouldn't have been happy even if there had been 10 Starbucks, each across from each other.

But I digress. After leaving, I pulled behind someone who flung open his car door and proceeded to spit on the street. Except he didn't spit- he poured. It was really, really disturbing... on so many levels. ChivalryMan should have come to my rescue and adverted my eyes.

After arriving at the office, a technician came by my desk and asked if I knew where the phone closet was. I kept a straight face and whispered, "Why, are you SuperMan?" He only laughed a little bit. I later exploded into a fit of giggles. People need to lighten up sometimes.

Friday night looks fun around here. I'm planning to go stick around for a bit for a DownTown event, go running, read, watch When Harry Met Sally, and go for a massage at 9 PM. Tomorrow I'm making a trip to the beach for shopping and sunshine. I've been working on a post that I may finish this evening, discussing some thoughts on a book I'm currently reading. I started last night but didn't think I was quite ready. I was quite tired. And I had to iron. Which would quell even the creativity of DaVinci. So the post will have to be today or tomorrow. Yesterday I went running, stopped off at Starbucks and people-watched. Then I took my green burlap bag over to Publix, where wonderful items were on sale such as frozen berries and olive oil and yellow sweet-smelling daisies for my lovely crystal vase. Ok- those weren't on sale.

Cheers!

Funny Stuff

So the other day Jeff (my little brother) and I met downtown for lunch. We went in search of a restaurant that served both chelseafood (salads, fruit, lean meat) and manfood (burgers). We did find such a place- I got a salad and Jeff got a wrap with beef and cheese and such. We were handed our food to-go by the waitress; she said "enjoy your food!"
Jeff said, "you, too!" (like you say to people when they say, "have a nice day," and you say "You, too.")
I was like, "Jeff, she said 'enjoy your food.'"
Jeff: "Well, she'll probably eat some time today."
Me: "..."
(this post is short, sweet, lacking anything intellectual, and maybe you sort of had to be there. I thought it was funny.)