The RuMMate(R)

You all have probably seen these at your doctor's office. They are helpful to the staff and other doctors because they signal what is going on in that room and how long they can expect to be waiting, or what is needed to assist with the procedure. Essentially, they are status flags that communicate something important.

So lately I've been thinking about getting a couple of roommates and getting a house over here in South Tampa instead of a 1 bedroom apartment. I've never had roommates before, mostly because I like my own space. So I've invented something to help ease everyone into this living arrangement. Enter my brainchild, the RuMMate (R).

The RuMMate (R) helps solve your housemate problems by clearly indicating your status at any given time. It will be easy to install outside of each bedroom door. Your housemates may not have checked your Facebook status recently and may erroneously guess your mood or status, causing awkward moments and uninvited intrusions. It would be available in the following editions:

RuMMate(R) SiMPLE (for Men):

Three flags:
Red (busy/not alone)
Green (come on in)
Yellow (You can come in, but make it quick)

RuMMate(R) DeLUX (for Women):
Eight flags:

Green: Come in/ let's chat/ I'm available/ I'm dressed

Orange: I'm craving some peace and quiet/I'm hungry and/or uncaffeinated/tread lightly and please don't ask me to do anything that requires leaving my room/chocolate might be a good idea

Black: Bad mood/stay away/come back later

White: Naked/not presentable

Red: Slightly emotional/crying/suffering

woman-type symptoms/tread lightly

Lt. Blue: Resting/Happily napping or in bed for the night. (Quiet, please)

Yellow: I'm here and available if you need me/I've got time to chat and laugh/ I've got time to listen

Dk. Blue: Not here/making a Starbucks run

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So what do you think? If you had one of these, would you use it? What would your flags say or indicate?

Random, Delicate Thoughts.

Ok, so I'm trapped here on the couch because I'm sick and thinking about a whole lot of things. I'd much rather be out doing something- anything, really. Except pumping gas because you know how I hate to do that. Oh, and leaf blowing. WHO LEAF BLOWS on a Saturday afternoon? I can just pictures some putz of a man sitting there on a beautiful Saturday afternoon. Or maybe he's not a putz, but an attractive, fit man. Anyways. "Hey baby, I'm going to go out and use the leaf blower."

I'm sorry. I just don't see it.

It reminds me of the people I see using those little mini leaf blowers on the street downtown. I'm convinced that there are two shifts: One shift that blows the leaves off the street, and the other shift that blows the leaves on the sidewalk, from the street. And I'm betting that sometimes the shifts overlap and one guy says to the other, "Dude! You just blew leaves on my sidewalk."

"Sorry, man."

So the other day I went to the post office. Now, every morning I go to the post office downtown. Naturally, I've struck up a certain good morning/head nod/have a great day type of relationship with the mail persons.

Last week the mailman was running behind; No problem, I'll get it later.

The next day he said, "Miss, I'm sorry about yesterday. Y'know what happened right after you left? I found your bucket of mail!"

"Awww, bummer!"

"I was going to bring it to you, but....

I didn't know where you worked."

Think about it.

Jeff

I have to say, my little brother Jeff is one of the funniest people I know. We went out tonight for ice cream, a trip to Lowes, and a trip to Target to return something. How funny are these quips?

Scene:
I'm reading Domino magazine when Jeff walks in.

"Hey Chels, I'm going to run to Lowes because I need some wood screws." (Jeff)
"Um, ok, well I need to go to Target, sooo..." (me)
"Hey, that's like one trip!" (Aghast!)
"Yep. Lemme change and we'll go together."
"Wait, are you going to, um, 'look' at Target? Because if you're going to shop, I don't want this to take, like, all night. I have things to do, you know."
"No, no.... (assuredly) I don't need anything....
...I just want to return that closet thing that I bought that broke.... I'll just run in and return it and we'll go get your stuff from Lowes...." (I leave the room, continuing to assure Jeff that the items is ready to go, I have the receipt, and I'll just 'run in...', I don't need anything at all, etc, etc...)
"Ok."
8 seconds later...
"Ok, Chels... so, how long are you going to 'look' ?"
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The simple fact that we were going to Lowes to buy screws brought some challenges, and prevented Jeff from asking assistance from, well, pretty much any Lowes employee. I mean, how DO you word a question like that and not embarrass anyone...?
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Scene:
Jeff and Chelsea are leaving the Cold Stone Creamery shop, disappointed that shop wouldn't take our Buy One Get One coupon, and not feeling prepared to drop $10.00 on two cones. A really cute, preppy, ponytailed blonde is going in while we are leaving. She holds the door for us, but Jeff had already started to hold the door for me. So the three of us are kind of suspended there, her gazing up at Jeff, seeing her children in his eyes, me rolling my eyes, and everyone present holding the door for each other, until we all have that moment when we laugh nervously and start apologizing and moving away from the situation. ("Sorry, haha, sorry, haha....."

Jeff, quietly and to himself: "That is so awkward."
Me, overhearing him: "Yeah! It's kind of like that awkwardness when you hug and say goodbye to someone, and then they continue walking the same way as you are. Like, your car and their car are parked right next to each other, or there's only one exit, and you realize it and it's awkward."
Jeff, "Yeah, kind of like that."
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We have a good laugh over this and walk over to Publix, where we bought Buy One Get One Edy's Ice Cream half-gallons. This event made us happy because we each got our own flavor, since one was free, which was pretty much what we were going to do at Cold Stone. Except Publix was out of Toll House cookie dough ice cream! Tragedy!
So we brought the vanilla and chocolate-brownie tubs home and mushed our own cookie dough in. (Only Jeff would keep a tub of mixed cookie dough in the fridge.)

Yum! My dough-to-ice-cream ratio was off, but Jeff's looked, well, perfect.
Jeff: "Chels, you should mush more often."
Me: "Um, no, Jeff, I don't think I need to mush more. Thanks, though."
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Earlier, I'm getting home from work. I stopped at Chik-Fil-A because I was starving. I worked through lunch, again, and only had toast today. (I've lost so much weight this week, anyways, my jeans don't fit, so I figured a chicken sandwich wouldn't kill me)

Me, eating my sandwich: "Jeff, I'm sorry.... I've been so used to living alone, I only brought one sandwich, and I didn't know you were going to be home, and so I didn't call to see if you wanted anything, I feel so inconsiderate, blah, blah...."
Jeff: "That's alright. I just came from Burger King, and didn't even think about asking if you wanted anything."
Me: "Sorry, man."
Jeff: "Yah, sorry too."

Nothing gained, nothing lost :)