Where I Would've Been

o I started a poem but couldn't make it rhyme. (Isn't that silly?)
Perhaps I can write instead. I was changing my age on the "about me" section of this blog, since I turned 24 last week. If I may be nostalgic for a moment, I think it is really starting to amaze me how quickly time passes. And, with that thought, I have been solemnly considering how different this year would have been if God had not protected me. As a Christian I know that I should actually see the safety in the future; indeed, this is a facet of trust. But I admit that my breath catches a little when I think about how different my life would be right now, both if I had listened to Him, and if I hadn't listened to Him.

I know that there were times when I thought I was doing the right thing, but forgetting that there are two or more wills at stake. I've been told that I have an uncanny sense of right and wrong; indeed, told that if I listened to my intuition I would save myself quite a bit of trouble. But sometimes, in considering the consequences, I consider too many variables when I should just trust God to take care of it. Maybe I'm not making sense.

You cannot make someone change. Or, if you force change, you don't actually have the heart of the matter. I've known this, of course, but it was again illustrated to me yesterday when I went out to see my horse. BayPony threw a shoe on Saturday, and her farrier came to fix it last night. The difference between a broken horse and a gentled horse is that the gentled horse wants to please you. Anyone can break a horse... anyone can force change through breaking the spirit. But what are we left with? We are left with a shallow relationship that is based on weakness, not meekness. Manipulation, fear, and pain, either physical or mental, are symptoms that something is awry.

Horse training is the same way. Before I ever rode Bay, I spent weeks taking walks with her. I started at her nose and ran my hands down her legs until she picked them up for me, even her back ones. Lots of positive reinforcement. Lots of walking by scary garbage cans, plastic tarps, and noisy cars. Lots of carrots and peppermints. And what is the gain? The gain is a relationship. I know it sounds silly, but there is indeed a difference between a horse with a broken spirit and one without. Eventually Bay learned to follow me, trust me, and listen to me without using harsh tools or even a bit.

God calls us to trust Him. Through everything. Even when we cannot see the end result. As I sit here tonight, peaceful and quiet, I've had that pang in heart that you feel when you realize just how close you came to being a broken spirit. For me, it's sort of that feeling you get just before the roller coaster begins the first descent. Or that catch you feel when you see the semi truck run the light you hesitated at. It's that feeling when fear and relief collide, and for a moment you can't tell the difference.

It doesn't take but a few feet (or moments) away from the path set before us before our stumble shakes us so badly we can't see the way anymore. I'm so grateful that God put the right people in my path to protect me, and even removed circumstances from my path, circumstances and chances that became so impossible I turned them over to Him. <3

Strange Days

Friday looks to be interesting. My morning started off with a trip to Starbucks, where I tell you the blueberry coffee cake was making a face at me. Honest! Blueberry placement can be harshly disturbing on a Friday morning, pre-caffeine. A lady in line (it was out the door) with me was lamenting that this was the only Starbucks close to DownTown Tampa, and when I asked where she was from, she informed me that she was from New York. So I'm standing there and thinking that she probably wouldn't have been happy even if there had been 10 Starbucks, each across from each other.

But I digress. After leaving, I pulled behind someone who flung open his car door and proceeded to spit on the street. Except he didn't spit- he poured. It was really, really disturbing... on so many levels. ChivalryMan should have come to my rescue and adverted my eyes.

After arriving at the office, a technician came by my desk and asked if I knew where the phone closet was. I kept a straight face and whispered, "Why, are you SuperMan?" He only laughed a little bit. I later exploded into a fit of giggles. People need to lighten up sometimes.

Friday night looks fun around here. I'm planning to go stick around for a bit for a DownTown event, go running, read, watch When Harry Met Sally, and go for a massage at 9 PM. Tomorrow I'm making a trip to the beach for shopping and sunshine. I've been working on a post that I may finish this evening, discussing some thoughts on a book I'm currently reading. I started last night but didn't think I was quite ready. I was quite tired. And I had to iron. Which would quell even the creativity of DaVinci. So the post will have to be today or tomorrow. Yesterday I went running, stopped off at Starbucks and people-watched. Then I took my green burlap bag over to Publix, where wonderful items were on sale such as frozen berries and olive oil and yellow sweet-smelling daisies for my lovely crystal vase. Ok- those weren't on sale.

Cheers!

Congratulations!

Congratulations to the 2008 Graduates of Regent University! The ceremony and festivities were well worth the trip from Tampa! God Bless !

Thursday

Thursday looks rather mundane...Have some errands to run after work, and then it's on to Bayshore for my "real" running. I promise to post more about graduation two weeks ago and some pictures when I have them. As I was walking and in the graduation I was somewhat limited by my picture taking abilities. And do you know what I think?I think I am one luck girl. :)

Sinking Sun

Inspired by my trip to Davis Island for a sunset tonight...

Sun sinking into the blue
Sky and boats nodding softly to sleep
Paw prints on the sand
Beach chair legs pressing footless paths

Pavement smoothes to sand to ease
Visitors into the windswept and cool evening
Sans shoes they smile at each other ("Nice, isn't it?")
Though we don't exchange names we won't be strangers again

Orange chaise lounge
Stark against the white sand like that
Laughter from lovers punctuated by
Those feathered wings I can hear but not see

Frisbees and convertibles soon become scarce
Too soon the day is nearly over
Daylight isn't chased away but merely slips
Into night to rest to rise into the morning again

ChivalryMan!

With all of the hype about IronMan, I thought I'd create my own as-needed superhero. Enter ChivalryMan.

ChivalryMan comes to the rescue of ladies everywhere in their times of need. He's sort of like your knight in shining armor, without the commitment, leaving you free to find the man of your dreams.

He arrives on a cloud of (non-AXE) cologne and is freshly shaven, his shoes shined, and his cape tucked into his freshly pressed boxer-briefs. He has a limited vocabulary, including "You've lost weight," "Rest while I cut you another brownie," and "You look amazing but your skirt is wrinkled... here, let me iron it for you."

He carries with himself a sleep-mask to protect your modesty when helping with wardrobe issues and scolds men who whistle at ladies.

Ever been at the beach and, finding yourself with the choice of a port-a-potty or your vehicle, needing to fix or change your bathing attire? Not a problem. ChivalryMan comes to your rescue by holding up a sheet, whilst covering his own eyes and allowing you to change in the privacy of your little billowing cabana.

If, like me, you've ever been yelled at by a man for crossing the street on the walk signal, ChivalryMan would chase down the little heathen and smartly rebuff him, gently removing a white cotton glove and slapping such a boarish man for yelling at a nice lady in a black dress and black patent high heels.ChivalryMan would appear and disappear with impeccable timing. He carries very little, because he is need-based.

His right arm is a little larger than his left arm because he always arrives just in time to open doors for ladies, or to hold a chair out for them, or to carry a shopping bag of shoes into the apartment while holding the front door open. Chivalry isn't dead, you see... it just needs a little refresher course.

Cheers!

Funny Stuff

So the other day Jeff (my little brother) and I met downtown for lunch. We went in search of a restaurant that served both chelseafood (salads, fruit, lean meat) and manfood (burgers). We did find such a place- I got a salad and Jeff got a wrap with beef and cheese and such. We were handed our food to-go by the waitress; she said "enjoy your food!"
Jeff said, "you, too!" (like you say to people when they say, "have a nice day," and you say "You, too.")
I was like, "Jeff, she said 'enjoy your food.'"
Jeff: "Well, she'll probably eat some time today."
Me: "..."
(this post is short, sweet, lacking anything intellectual, and maybe you sort of had to be there. I thought it was funny.)