Never Be Too Busy For What Is Eternal.

(A post from May I just finished editing.)


I used to keep this yellow Post-It note in my pocket calendar that had "Never be too busy for
what is eternal" scrawled across it, a by-product of a moment of inspiration that must have been captured on whatever paper was handy and with whatever pen was close by. Stuck under a picture of the boyfriend I had through most of 2008, and with tattered edges curled, I was happy that I was able to close those days with the elastic and crack open the creamy, clean pages of 2009.

And even though that pocket calendar has long been shelved (I keep all my calendars because they are more "diary-ish" than my journals) along with the others, I have been continually reminded of this phrase. How in the 24 short hours we have in the day can be choking eternity's story, depriving her of the subtle moments that could make all the difference. But I digress.

Recently, people in my office shared in the grief of a dear woman who recently lost her husband.
Imagine this brave lady coming to work day after day, up until the day he died, knowing how precious each hour was.
And in our worry over missed lunches and late evening traffic, early morning spilled coffee and reports that were due yesterday, our worry seems kind of small... doesn't it? And I think we all thought through the past several weeks, wondering if perhaps we had let stress give our words a sharper edge than intended and perhaps we had been a bit short with each other.

I chided myself for not "doing something." I'm a kind person by nature, but day to day familiarity and workday stress creates a sense of easiness that I hope I never experience again. I hope that I never try to assume that all is well in another person's world, and that I may be careless in thought, word or deed because they are, well, they seem okay.

I am ashamed that I have let a thousand moments pass, with friends, acquaintances, shopkeepers and barristas and classmates and street-sweepers, where I was "too busy for the eternal." And if I reflect on them too long I could begin to weep for those times that I was too busy to stop and truly listen. To truly pause everything long enough to see the pain in someone's eyes, to hear the same aching statement over and over, an obvious weight upon their heart that perhaps ceases only when someone comes along side them and says "I know" or "I care."

So I've endeavored on an unusual change that is one of the hardest disciplines I've ever attempted. I'm learning to listen, not just with my ears, but with my everything. With my time, actions, words, and moments that seem so important to the here and now. I'm seeing time in a different way, realizing just how short our stay is here on earth, and endeavoring to be the tender heart that makes the difference between pointing someone to Him and the calloused one that does not feel and therefore cannot love. I will no longer assume that all is well in another person's world. We know not what private battles each one of us faces and what misplaced word might be the dagger in the wound.

It's funny what you learn when you truly listen. Thursday I felt the heartbreak in the voice telling me about a love story that ended in a way no one wanted. Friday I heard a possibly tortured man tell me what he did for a living, and I saw the desperation in his eyes though he smiled at me. Saturday I saw the joy at sharing and giving, watching fellow ladies and their varied talents and gifts flower over laughter and stories and kitchen cleaning. And today I made it my mission to not be too busy for anyone, but instead seek to understand and have compassion and kind words ready.

And I pray and hope with everything in me that Christ will give me a heart soft enough to feel the hurt for others, strong enough to hear the details and not become weak, joyful enough to give a ray of hope, and discerning enough to make the right decisions. And I pray that I'll never, ever, ever be too busy for what is eternal.

(If there are typos here it's because it's almost 2 AM and I'll fix them some other time... for tonight, I just have to get this off my chest. :)

LifeLessons, 2009 ed.

LifeLessons is a series I write once a year and sometimes more. I realized that I am late this year; I've provided last year's link in case you'd like to get caught up.

http://theblondephilosophy.blogspot.com/search/label/LifeLessons

(I still consider the 2008 edition my best yet, but shoot I had to learn a lot to write it!)

1. Names are very important to most people. Learn someone's name, correct spelling and all, and you are a step closer to having a friend.
2. Don't take out your cell phone to text, check email, or make a call if you are on a date or out with a friend who is important to you. It can wait. Trust me. However,
3. If said person takes out his/her phone and texts/checks email/makes a call, then it is perfectly appropriate for me to do the same until said person puts the device away.
4. Find out what someone is good at, and compliment them on it.
5. When you wake up in the middle of the night, appreciate the quiet and pray for anyone who comes to mind.
6. Lay out everything for the morning: Shoes+nylons+underthings+d

ress/suit+jewelry+handbag.
7. Keep makeup in the car and THE lipstick within reach at all times.
8. Be gracious.
9. Be grateful. And make time to be grateful. It's not something you can rush.
10. Notice when someone does something for you, thank them for it. In a tangible way, if possible (ie. note, email, text)
11. After a date, I really like a follow up text message or phone call.
12. It takes one person to have a crush, but two to have a true relationship.
13. Shoes make quite a statement. Be careful what you do with them.
14. Curly hair makes a statement, too. I'm just not sure what that is yet.
15. A simple "thank you" is sufficient acknowledgement to a sincere compliment.
16. Yes, a second application of sunscreen is probably advisable.
17. Never be too busy for what is eternal. Remember that some people are alive today because they missed death due to an "inconvenience."
18. Spend some time reflecting on people you spend time with. Then increase time with those who make you want to be your best, and decrease time with people who don't have this effect.
19. On that note, that doesn't mean you stop loving them. It means that sometimes we're just a seed in someone's life and not the gardener. Spread the responsibility.
20. Thinking about someone? Call them. Minutes on cell phones are cheap these days.
21. A paper card will never, ever be replaced by email.
22. Be your family's cheerleader and your friends' biggest fan.
23. It doesn't matter that the rest of the world has gone digital and I still use film. Maybe I like it better. :)
24. Listen first, ask questions next, then speak your part.
25. If it's raining and I must choose between an umbrella and my coffee, I'm going to get wet. Just saying.
26. Your true friends are the ones who love you for who you are but who make you think of how you can be better.
27. Tip well if your server really really tried.
28. Emailing myself when I think of things to do has been a pretty effective way to stay on top of it all, and thank GOODNESS I have a Gmail account to keep it all together!
29. Stop stuffing down suspicions so deeply that you no longer feel them.
30. Smiles are contagious... spread them :)

Potholes, Church, and Starbucks.

I heard such an amazing speaker at church this morning. I would not venture to try to capture the words here without giving him the proper space and credit, but in short, the speaker was emphasizing how the Bible calls us to not "crawl under a rock" when it seems like the world is spinning out of control. Rather, we are called to be the strong ones, the ones who have a Higher purpose and a deep and unmoving settling of the heart that is impervious to the world's whims. Further, he emphasized the Scripture's passages about the wise servants and how they were given additional responsibilities and earned the trust of the business owner. (If you are curious, the passage is Matthew 24). But anyways...

After the service, I stopped by the health food store for something I needed. I then stopped by Starbucks for my caramel macchiatto. Naturally, I have come to know the baristas and I try to keep up with their families, second jobs, college classes, and lives in general. One particular lady, a new mother, was working today and we chatted for a couple of minutes; She commented on my dress and said I looked nice. I said "thank you, I've just come from church," and she smiled and tilted her shoulders in that way people smile and tilt at people who say they "take tea" in the afternoons and watch "Wheel of Fortune" and listen to NPR. She even went so far to say "Awww, church." (Side note- Thanks, Bekah, for teaching me to just say 'thank you' to a compliment. I'm getting better, really, I am!)

I'd invited a young couple from Friday's dinner to visit my church, and to my surprise and delight they came this morning. So I was feeling compelled to invite someone else, so I smiled at this lady at Starbucks and asked her if she goes to church, and if not, would she like to visit sometime? She looked somewhat sad and said softly, no, no, we don't go to church.

She started to talk to me, but we were interrupted by the (apparently uncaffeinated) woman behind me, anxious to pipe up with "Yes, Church!"
We both turned to her and she gave her order for her vanilla-frappuccino-thingy

and then said "Some of the contemporary services are even fun. It's not even like you're in, you know, church." She stopped just barely short of saying entertaining, but I could see it sitting there on her mind, stopped only by the fact that church is maybe not supposed to be entertaining.

I don't fault her for feeling the need to jump in on a somewhat quiet conversation, but she was, as I said, pre-caffeine and I do some pretty strange things without my coffee, too.

So I thanked the barista and told her I'd see her soon, thanks for the caramel machiatto, have a wonderful day, etc., etc., but I was troubled when I left. How is it ok, I asked myself, that Church has become a quaint Sunday morning ideal. And when did Church become somewhere we go, to satisfy our own desires or longings or ideals or our family's nagging or our own guilty consciences.

And why, I ask, do we feel like we have to water down the Gospel, the message, the heart-wrenching grace of Jesus' life and death, to get people to want to go to church? Why do we have to become like the world to bring the world inside? Why can't we bring the church, or rather, Jesus, to the world? Some say that YOU and I are perhaps the only Bible someone will ever read. I'm sad that we, the people with the Message, have felt the need to be like everyone else in order to be heard. (I want to note here that I'm sad because I am guilty of all of the things I'm about to say below.)

I'm sad that we've felt the need to bring entertainment to the Altar in order for people to come. My question is, if WE, those who claim to follow HIM, were truly different, would we be better messengers? If we were true and transparent, humble yet respectable, steady but not haughty, lovely but not vain, happy but not delirious, trustworthy but not secretive, giving and loving out of sheer abandonment, content but not mediocre, careful but not cheap, funny without the hurtful exploitation of others, passionate without building walls... Would they come? What if WE, His people, were better listeners and wiser counsel, better friends, better wives/husbands/brothers/sisters/citizens? What if we stopped holding ourselves to the standards of others, and started holding ourselves to the standards of Christ?

Where would you fall? I know I'd fall short of what He has set as an example. Wait-there's more for me. I'd fall short of what He has COMMANDED. The Bible is not a book of suggestions; The Bible is a book of commandments. Do we fail? Yes. But the shortest way to someone's forgiving heart is to admit you were wrong, or that you failed.

I don't plan to be the ostrich sticking my head under the sand while I watch the world trip and fall into her moral potholes, built on roads that seemed strong but are really crumbling under the surface. Am I going to fail? Yes. But I'm forgiven, and I've never been one to settle for mediocre.

Thanks for letting me share. What do you think?

Micro-Blogging.

(Just because I feel like it)

This rain is making me feel like finding a cool corner at the Starbucks and spending the evenings writing, reading, and meeting up with friends.

I wanted very badly to allude to something today but bit my tongue.

I love how my daddy always locks the door when it is storming.

Tonight was a good evening because I made an english muffin with springtime honey and some butter and talked to my mom about the day and boys and the weather and church and Jesus and other things.

I'm thankful for very good brakes in the car and especially safe drivers.

I'm excited about some plans here soon to move in with some of my favorite people.

I'm really glad my little brother got to go along today.

I'm so very thankful that there are brave men and women who choose to serve our country and who keep us free.

The end. :)

The RuMMate(R)

You all have probably seen these at your doctor's office. They are helpful to the staff and other doctors because they signal what is going on in that room and how long they can expect to be waiting, or what is needed to assist with the procedure. Essentially, they are status flags that communicate something important.

So lately I've been thinking about getting a couple of roommates and getting a house over here in South Tampa instead of a 1 bedroom apartment. I've never had roommates before, mostly because I like my own space. So I've invented something to help ease everyone into this living arrangement. Enter my brainchild, the RuMMate (R).

The RuMMate (R) helps solve your housemate problems by clearly indicating your status at any given time. It will be easy to install outside of each bedroom door. Your housemates may not have checked your Facebook status recently and may erroneously guess your mood or status, causing awkward moments and uninvited intrusions. It would be available in the following editions:

RuMMate(R) SiMPLE (for Men):

Three flags:
Red (busy/not alone)
Green (come on in)
Yellow (You can come in, but make it quick)

RuMMate(R) DeLUX (for Women):
Eight flags:

Green: Come in/ let's chat/ I'm available/ I'm dressed

Orange: I'm craving some peace and quiet/I'm hungry and/or uncaffeinated/tread lightly and please don't ask me to do anything that requires leaving my room/chocolate might be a good idea

Black: Bad mood/stay away/come back later

White: Naked/not presentable

Red: Slightly emotional/crying/suffering

woman-type symptoms/tread lightly

Lt. Blue: Resting/Happily napping or in bed for the night. (Quiet, please)

Yellow: I'm here and available if you need me/I've got time to chat and laugh/ I've got time to listen

Dk. Blue: Not here/making a Starbucks run

___________________
So what do you think? If you had one of these, would you use it? What would your flags say or indicate?

Convinced.

I am convinced that if I do not write tonight I will burst. More later.

Maybe We're Not Meant To Be.

Dear, dear Starbucks. You're like a sad lover, coming back again and again. Convinced that next time will be better, next time you'll "change," next time you do whatever it is you think we want from you.

"Don't you love me? Can't we try again? Next time I won't come on so strong. Next time I won't cost $5.40. Next time I'll play Fair Trade. It'll be different this time, I promise. This time, I'll go wherever you want to go... you pick. Next time I'll make you breakfast sandwiches. I'm desperate. I'll do anything. Even grind myself into instant microparticles and let myself be carried in a handy little pouch."

Starbucks, VIA(r) is a wonderful breakthrough for you. I wish you all the best. But it just won't work out between us.

I'm just not that into instant coffee.

No Comment.

Comments from just ten minutes of watching Fox news tonight:

1) Blagojevich looks like a puppy who got caught pooping on the rug.
2) Christian Bale: Oh, you bad, bad boy.
3) Tommy Lee Jones' helicopter pilot's groping habits while flying should not be considered "breaking news."
4) Mike Phelps: Oh, you bad, bad boy.
5) John Edwards: Oh, you bad, bad boy.


Sheesh. I think I'll turn it off and read a book.

Thoughts of Note.

"We never own people or their feelings. They are on loan to us from God. With that in mind, we should think fondly on the times they were in our lives, and treat the absences as returning them to Him, and not as losses."

Feeling Thankful.

I don't know... maybe the rain makes me think deep thoughts. It rained downtown today, and I guess this post is just about how my day was. It's not very deep. I started to think about how thankful I am, and especially now that God has opened my eyes again to the beauty and the blessings that I have in my life.

I'm thankful that I have a beautiful office. I have a skylight that looks down two stories; my office is the only one directly under it. When it rains it pitter patters on the glass and yet I don't get sleepy. Rather, my creative side comes out and I get maddd amounts of work done! And it's cold out. Cold enough to leave my bedroom window open; when I sleep, part of my arm stays out of the blankets, and I love that cold breeze that I can feel. I had lunch at my favorite French restaurant; the cafe has windows on three sides, and it was so enchanting to watch the people come and go in the rain. Such drab colors, though! I commented to my lunch companion that Floridians are never prepared for cold weather, and it shows: Most people looked like they dragged their jackets and coats from the back of their closets. That is when it is super fun to wear my bright, fire-red jacket. Tomorrow I am wearing a bright green shirt with a peacock on it, and my gold tall boots! There are only a few days out of the year that it is cold enough to wear them.

The day went by fast. I'm learning some new things and having some new challenges. My job has changed, somewhat, and I cannot help but feel that the new challenges are stretching me in ways I've never felt before, and in a good way. As I write this, my sweet little fluffy dog jumped in bed next to me. She is somewhat perturbed because she got into my purse and was starting to chew a piece of Orbit White gum before I told her to spit it out.

I'm thankful that God has been faithful to me, coming and picking me up when I thought He wasn't hearing me. I'm thankful that I have a future, wherever I will be. I'm thankful that I still believe in the things that have been so harshly hidden, and although I cannot see what lies ahead, I know I am stronger because of this. I must believe that whatever has been given to me, whatever has been taken away, was maybe never mine in the first place.

More tomorrow. I have an idea, and I just might write a book about it :)

Thoughts of Note.

"We never own people or their feelings. They are on loan to us from God. With that in mind, we should think fondly on the times they were in our lives, and treat the absences as returning them to Him, and not as losses."

Ok, Fine, a Post. :)

Yes, yes, I'm ok, dear readers. Thank you for your emails of concern. Physically, I've caught the bug again, and I've been sick since Thursday night. I don't know why and I don't know what it is, but hopefully it will subside soon with 3 hour intervals of Zicam (Thank you, D.) and Echinacea (spelling?) and fish oils (eww!) and my favorite, Bee Pollen.

Dad is doing well. He and mom are moving to Jacksonville shortly to start his treatment. I say "moving" loosely because, happily, they will be returning on the weekends. Please continue to keep him in your prayers, above all that the cancer will be gone swiftly.

So I suppose in a few days it will be very quiet around here. And that is a funny thing, because quiet is what I've been searching for, but not because I don't want anyone around. I'm searching more for that inner quiet that has somehow become a static radio, scanning through the stations and refusing to settle on just one. I have so many distractions: Relationships that need to be built and tended to, projects to start on, applications to finish, a to-do list a mile long and yet far too short.

I think if I had a giant white board across my bedroom walls one side would read "to-do" and the other side would read "should be doing," and if I may be so bold I just might put a white board on the floor that would say "should have done- or should not have done," so that every morning when as I got dressed or got on my knees to pray it would be wiped clean. And of course the ceiling would be low enough to write, every day, "Will Be, God willing."

Thursday J. and I took a rented convertible over to Bartow. I cannot tell you why I had to go there, only that I feared for my safety somewhat so I was happy J. was able to accompany me. This took most of Thursday, as I had to wait awhile for my turn. Too late for us to return to work, he and I returned to Tampa and faced rainy weather- a perfect waste of a nice convertible! Nevertheless, we spent the evening at "our" Panera Bread over soup and sandwiches and of course coffee, waxing nostalgic on the way life is and will be soon. I say "our" Panera loosely because during the LSAT class we would make a mad dash over there to get something to eat during the short lunch break. I admit we drive out of our way to go to that one rather than have sandwiches at the SOHO one.

An observation worth noting is the amount of impatience that is present in Tampa these days. Yes, we are hosting the game on Sunday. Yes, Gasparilla is only a week away. Yes, the economy is disappointing. But is this really a reason for everyone to walk around with ashes on their faces, and so downcast? When we were in Panera John and I looked around, and I tell you he and I were the only ones smiling. But we were the only ones toasty-warm next to the bagel toaster, so maybe that's why. And we had a convertible for the day.

I know I didn't even make it a week without writing. I wanted to wait at least a week, but what can I say? I miss it. I am doing fine, really! I have heard that if you refuse to give your body rest, your body will make you take it in the form of illness. From previous posts you can probably gather that my health has not been good over the past few months. I have had not one, but two flu bugs in January alone. I have a skin condition that I've never had before that doesn't want to clear up. I turn in much earlier than I used to. The only improvement is that I am finally, finally sleeping again. I get tired, fall asleep, and stay asleep. Blessedly.

Recently, I have been blessed to have fellow believers express concern and offer kind words and encouragement. For that I am grateful. I'm doing some research into a retreat center that offers a place of solitude for prayer, fasting, and generally spiritual rest. I feel like I've been in a library, and in order to be a good, busy librarian I've been shelving books without reading them, because there are just too many people and things that "need" my attention. (I say "need" because I've not been entrusting them to Him, and not because I feel people or relationships are unimportant.) I'm far too busy to read books! I had been shelving the books until later, later, later... and one day, that bookshelf couldn't hold anymore books and fell over. And when I looked at the mess of piles sitting around, I picked up the first book I could find... and it was labeled Prayer. Under that book was "God's Word." Under that one, subsequently scattered and laying partly open, "Godly counsel," "Forgiveness," and "Kindness and Gentleness," among many others.

And in a pile, there on the floor, I know I need to get started picking them up and reading them before I put them somewhere besides a high bookcase.

Maybe this metaphor doesn't mean very much to anyone but me.

I'm going to rest now but hope to write again soon. Have a wonderful Sunday!

Of Late.

Of late, I have been experiencing a lot of deep thoughts, big decisions, and generally a lot of things I have to think about and deal with. I admit that I am physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted, causing me to be unfit for His service or, in the least, a sad excuse for a girl.

I'm afraid I'm taking a bit of a writing sabbatical until things calm down. I'm trusting that God will pry these things from my white-knuckled grasp, whether or not I'm prepared to let them go.

Until next time, hopefully soon.

Chelsea

Last Year.

I thought it might be fun to look back on January last year, and guess what! I posted something on this day, one year ago! It happens to be one of my favorite posts, although I'm not sure I agree with all of it anymore.
_______

Originally posted January 23, 2008. I think I was sitting at Starbucks.

How beautiful fleeting moments are! I was thinking of a moment that both saddened me and yet made me cherish the moment even more. Have you ever had dinner with someone about to go away to war? Even takeout becomes a special day. What about time with someone you know is going to die soon, or a glorious day away from distractions, with those you love? What about putting your arms around someone, but knowing that they're not with you in heart, only in body? At least for a second you can believe that some part of them is yours. What seems ordinary becomes, in the context of time (which has no master) suddenly something you wish was tangible. Oddly, although moments hold qualities that would seem to be measurable, they are not. Oh, you can measure the time, the date, the people who were there, or the amount of seconds that you held that feeling that seemed so long. But you can't really measure the value and you certainly can't bottle the moment to be enjoyed later. Try putting experiences into a two week time frame, or a day, or a month, or a hundred years. A thousand wishes and broken watches won't stop the perpetual spin into another lifetime just seconds away.

Daily I'm reminded that all good things do, indeed, end. Perhaps this is because the constant flow of good and happiness only increases our desire for more beauty, more peace, more love, more of someone or something. I used to think that absence was painful- and it is, don't get me wrong- but it's a different kind of pain. There's the pain of knowing you can't have someone or something that fills one of those little cracks in your heart, and then there's the pain that couples with anticipation and longing for something that is possible. The beauty of the latter is that you learn to be independent but then cherish the time that you are together. I've felt the pain of both: The pain of never being able to have, and loneliness that comes with waiting.

I've had some gorgeous fleeting moments. I'll never forget my first kiss, my first achievement, or those thousands of moments when I was afraid I wasn't going to make it. I'm learning to enjoy those moments that are so deceivingly fleeting, while pausing to remember something from that moment that I can savor later. And in this fleeting moment, my laptop battery is slowing dripping its energy into oblivion, and I must stop typing before I lose all of this forever.... (which may, of course, not be such a bad thing)

The Blonde's Philosophy on Airports.

Airports are funny places.
Have you ever gone to an airport, and really watched what is going on? I know it's hard when you are trying to keep track of your luggage, and your feet hurt, and you're afraid your gate got changed and you missed the announcement. I, for one, am always afraid about having to put my carry-on items on the counter/floor/hook in the sketchy bathroom. Because if someone takes your precious bag, it could very well end up across the world! It's not like losing your bag at the mall, where you could easily catch up with the thief.

But I digress.
Anyways, one time I was at the airport, I made a point to pay attention to the people. I was waiting to leave somewhere I wanted to stay, and I said goodbye to someone I didn't want to say goodbye to. The worst part was the three hours before takeoff; thinking and people watching and juggling my coffee, purse, and carryon. The armrest was digging into my ribcage and the high heels were really starting to dig into my feet and a great fear was starting to dig into my heart. And I started thinking that airports are similar to hospitals, in that they are pretty clear with their intention. Hospitals can be sad, where people are sick and die. Hospitals can be extraordinarily happy; a place where babies are born. Hospitals can be neutral, a place where you go to get better and hopefully never return. If you watch the people who mill around the baggage claim, it is interesting to watch their faces. I have never understood why two people greet each other with such lukewarm excitement, especially two people who appear that they are in love. I mean, your honey just got off an airplane! He's ok! And he's walking through a sea of people to find YOU and your smiling face!

So I have a philosophy about airports.
1. Never, ever drop someone off at the curb, unless they are going to seriously miss their plane, and only if you had something to do with them being late. (ie, spending too much time kissing goodbye.) And then you must apologize profusely.
2. Always arrive early enough to be found; sometimes cell phones don't work in the airport.
3. If you are the one flying out, and your ride offers to drop you off at the curb, make a mental note of it. It may mean nothing- or everything.

Airports are scary places. Maybe I'm the only one who does this, but whenever I fly I always imagine that it could be the end. Dramatic, I know. I pray during and after takeoff and I tell myself that I have Jesus if the plane goes down. I still get white knuckles. But when I get to where I'm going, I am so happy to see whoever I'm going to see. And you know what? You can tell a lot about a person by the way they greet you.

The end.

For my friend.

A week stolen and

Today too tired

It shuffled and stacked itself 

Sleeping in tomorrows "in" box

Waiting to be held and

Yet dreading the resulting decision

Stamped and labeled and

Put with all the other papers

Some crisp and creamy and whole

Some with edges torn and bent

And some yet to be taken from a pad

Why is it the bent and crumpled paper

Is treated so harshly?

Scratch pads and jotted notes that hold no future

No future with the writer except phone numbers

Sadly found again in the

washing machine's tumble with shirts

And socks and jean pockets and gum past its flavor

Should we not instead treat it gently

And with respect and embellish with

Ink so fine it would not bleed through

To the other side and steal from the only beauty left

From a side no one sees

And then folded and kissed and sent 

On its way to someone who will cherish

The words and letters inside though 

We no longer hold a desire or need for it

Paper and a girl's heart are not all that different

And sometimes, dear friend, I wish that wasn't so. 

Dictionary.

My friends came up with something called chelseawords because I make up words randomly. After I explain what I meant to say, it is added to the chelsea.dictionary.

Justilying:

"I didn't call even though I said I would because I thought you might be washing your hair."

"I would have put gas in the car but I didn't know if you preferred regular or premium."

Acci-Guilt:

Accidentally inducing guilt. May come across as manipulative, but isn't.

Cub-Hug:

Like a bear hug, but doesn't squeeze you to death.

Textual Harassment:

btw, @ .5 ea., culd b a prblm.

Theeping:

What happens when you stay in bed to do your deep thinking.

Road Grace:

Let it go. He didn't mean to cut you off. Ok, he did, but still let it go.

Heshe:

Protecting the innocent... and guilty.

Cellfish:

Overhearing the cell conversation by the woman sharing intimate details about her relationship/health problems/headache.

See also: Fishbowl Syndrome that causes one to be completely unaware of his/her surroundings.

("And then I was like, No he DIDN'T! And then she was like, "Oh yes he DID!")

CheckMate:

A spouse-type-mental check-off.

"When he heard me say I make a mean Pop-Tart, I saw his eyes go all CheckMate on me."

SameSox Marriage:

Laundry sorting.

ManFood:

Pot roast, macaroni and cheese, pizza, bacon, black coffee, Pop-Tarts, Cap'n Crunch, steak, potatoes (mashed), potatoes (home-fried), potatoes (baked), potatoes (fries), potatoes (au-gratin), potatoes...

ChelseaFood:

Chicken. Salad. Peppermint mocha lattes.

Moment...Ummmm....

Running into Target to "get something quick" and then getting distracted and finding a sale and stumbling into the makeup section and remembering that your towels are starting to look tattered and how are we on Tide? Oh yeah and paper towels and trash bags andddd SHOES!!!!

Random, Delicate Thoughts.

Ok, so I'm trapped here on the couch because I'm sick and thinking about a whole lot of things. I'd much rather be out doing something- anything, really. Except pumping gas because you know how I hate to do that. Oh, and leaf blowing. WHO LEAF BLOWS on a Saturday afternoon? I can just pictures some putz of a man sitting there on a beautiful Saturday afternoon. Or maybe he's not a putz, but an attractive, fit man. Anyways. "Hey baby, I'm going to go out and use the leaf blower."

I'm sorry. I just don't see it.

It reminds me of the people I see using those little mini leaf blowers on the street downtown. I'm convinced that there are two shifts: One shift that blows the leaves off the street, and the other shift that blows the leaves on the sidewalk, from the street. And I'm betting that sometimes the shifts overlap and one guy says to the other, "Dude! You just blew leaves on my sidewalk."

"Sorry, man."

So the other day I went to the post office. Now, every morning I go to the post office downtown. Naturally, I've struck up a certain good morning/head nod/have a great day type of relationship with the mail persons.

Last week the mailman was running behind; No problem, I'll get it later.

The next day he said, "Miss, I'm sorry about yesterday. Y'know what happened right after you left? I found your bucket of mail!"

"Awww, bummer!"

"I was going to bring it to you, but....

I didn't know where you worked."

Think about it.

Sick.

Ohhhh I have the FLU and all I can do is be in bed and cough and sniffle!
Shoots a whole Friday and Saturday!
Boo.

Panes.

Deftly he moves
Up and down
Over here and there
Such different worlds
I'm looking out
He's looking in
Up, down, up, down, side to side
Dappled colors, water spots
Left there from rains and hands past
Arms and Windex work their magic
And the cafe' windows shine again




:)

The Name's Blonde.

J. is one of the funniest people I know. I don't know what it is, but if you get he and I together we laugh and laugh and tell stupid jokes and we make fun of our differences. Early Wednesday morning I took him to the airport for his fantastical trip to NYC for the great ball drop.

______

C: Here, put your bags in the back seat.

J: Whatever. You just wanted to get out of the car to show off your boots and dress and whatever.

C: I did NOT! They are nice, though, aren't they?

______

J: You're straight today. What's that all about? I mean, you're straight every day. I mean, your hair is straight today. I mean... Geez, that was awkward. I'm going to stop talking now.

______

J: That blonde in Starbucks was cute. No ring. And a Coach bag.

C: I don't like Coach bags. Especially little ones. She had nice shoes though. I bet she's really high maintenance.

J: You're right. Besides, I'm leaving town today!

C: Just for the weekend, J. Sheesh!

J: Nope! I'm leaving town today!

______

C: You need a high maintenance woman like that. She would be good for you.

J: I know, I know. What does that mean, and more importantly, what does that say about me, you know, as a person?

C: Did you know surrogate mothers make $40,000 a year?

J. "....."

C: "......"

(silence.)

C: What?

J: I just get worried. Every time you say stuff like that to me, it makes me think you're about to pitch some idea you have.

C: No, no, noooo. I meant that having a high maintenance wife is still cheaper than hiring a surrogate to have your children. Sheesh!

______

J: Well, since we don't have to spend a lot of time hugging at the airport, here, look over this school project for my class.

______

J: At least let me get you a latte for the drive to the airport.

C: Ok. It's really not that complicated! I mean it really isn't! I don't see what the big deal is when I go out on dates. It's just a grande-decaf-peppermint-white-mocha-two pumps peppermint-two pumps white mocha-SOY- latte... did I say Soy?

The end.

Oh, What To Post?

Happy New Year, everyone! I intentionally did not post anything yesterday, because everyone posts all sorts of resolutions and good intentions for New Years, and frankly I'm not sure that I'm the type of girl who can handle that pressure. Because if I put resolutions up here, then I'll get all stressed out about following them. Besides, if you are a regular reader, you'll find that I make up resolutions throughout the year anyways, whenever the whim strikes me on an area of change and/or improvement.

If you are interested in seeing what my resolutions were that I posted last year, click here.

I'm not going to get up at the crack of dawn to go running. I've always loved running, and yes, I've been away from it for a couple of months now. But you know what? I also love sleeping. Or "theeping," as I call it. One magical day of January 1 isn't going to change that. I'll start when I'm good and ready.

I'm also not going to go on a drastic diet. I love my curves and I love dinners out and my lattes in the morning (and night) and I loooove good, healthy wholesome food, so there's no need to get stressed out about what to eat. Life's too short.

I want to note that no one, and I mean no one, is as hard on me as I am on myself. Whatever expectations there are, add ten to that, and you'll get an idea to the standards I hold myself to. Whatever I mess up on, add ten to that, and that's what I go through. I KNOW I'm not up to the par I set for myself last year. It's another day, another year, and another opportunity to dream big. This is the year I live more, love more, give more, and unbox more.

Cheers!