Continuing.

Today I felt just "so busy" that I wasn't going to be able to have my quiet time with the Lord. But I soon found that trying to forgo this is becoming increasingly difficult. I simply miss having my "Gandhi's wheel," as Gordon MacDonald calls it. Last night I wrote three pages in my journal, including all of the beautiful things that God is revealing to me, through His word, through other people, and through the observations that I'm now seeing through different eyes. Boa says that "In many cases the only time they confront these questions [about life] is when they are faced with tragedy and loss, and even then the window of vulnerability is open for a brief duration." (Boa, "Conformed to His Image). I'm trying to use this window of vulnerability (isn't that beautiful?) to grow, and perhaps one day I can look out this window and see the Lord's will.

The word "wisdom" keeps coming up in my studies, wether it is the texts for school, the Bible, or the things I happen to read and bump in to. I think that the Lord is trying to tell me to develop wisdom through asking him for it, and through learning from experiences. The MacDonald book (Ordering your private world) has been reminding me that I may appear to be ready for some challenges, but if I don't use my time wisely, I may come to a challenge that I'm not prepared for, because I didn't prepare when the time was available. So in preparation for whatever it is that God has in store for me, I'm learning to study His ways and His word. And do you know what yesterday's verse was? "Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid." (Proverbs 12:1). I was like, "ok, God, I'm listening now."

Tonight I'm sitting at my favorite window at Starbucks, enjoying the fantastic lightning show outside and reading in my Bible and Boa text. I'm feeling rather inspired by his story of Eric Liddel, the runner from Chariots of Fire. Eric was blessed to be a fantastic athlete, and acknowledged that he felt God's pleasure by running. Boa says that "A developing awareness of your divinely ordained purpose should impinge on every facet of your life and spiritualize the whole of your existence... Your calling and purpose are expressed and reinforced in an intentional rule of life. To embrace a rule of living is to seek positive guidelines of behavior that will assist you in fulfilling God's purposes." (Conformed to His Image). I'm wondering what sort of rules I should be applying to my life right now; I guess if I knew my calling this might be easier. For example, if I was a runner, which I'm not, (see below) I would know that daily running exercises should be a priority of the utmost importance. But I don't know what my calling is. I'm not really sure what my gifts are, that I should be honing and cultivating.